Contumacious Charlie

I have had some amazing dogs in my life and have been lucky to have most of them teach me a thing or two about being human. Some of them were disobedient toddlers who would never obey a command, but brought humor to my world. Others were the most loyal companions, never leaving my side, always listening, which brought compassion into my life. Still others were obedient and quick learners, able to do every trick in the book eagerly, which taught me discipline. Then there were the greatest of Danes, Atticus and Delilah. They were Fawn colored Great Danes given to me by one of the bikers who frequented the bar I worked in at night, while attending HS during the day. I have no idea what possessed me to say yes to taking them, other than their forlorn faces and my need for company of some kind. So, without thinking, I said "Yes, I will take them." The fortunate part of the story is my apartment at the time was directly across from the HS, which allowed me to dash home and check ...

I am knee deep in boxes in my art space. I am working hard to get it all set up so I can get down to the business of creating, but I am also neck deep in disenfranchised grief. Yeah, that was a new one for me too. I am learning a great deal about it this week, because that shit is bowling me over and causing panic attacks in the middle of the book store and today at the grocery store. You all do remember I cuss right? I mean I cuss A LOT and there are actual studies coming out that link cussing to intelligence and emotional well-being. I should have been immune to panic attacks based on my cussing level and that last one, but oh fucking well! Grief does not work like a clock because it has it's own schedule and plan for implementing that schedule. It seems Grief likes to show up at the most inopportune time, sneak up behind you and shake you to your core. I have written about grief on my previous blog. It has interrupted my life before, too many times. I am not a stranger to de...

It has been over 5 years since I have written a word for the world to view. Many of you know the old blog, which is still there, but no longer valid for who I am at this moment. See... I have changed to a degree and I am trying to get my feet back under me.  I just turned 53 years old, my hair has an imbalance of white and black, indicating I should be wiser, but it isn't how I feel. The opposite seems to take root in my core and whisper words of insecurity and lies about my worth. In addition to not writing, there has been a gap in my artistic endeavors and my hands seem to have forgotten how to hold a paintbrush. I have been feeling a little lost these past five years.  As I have stumbled around blindly behind my self-imposed veiled eyes, I have taken some steps to set a course for new discoveries about myself. I returned to college, finished my bachelor's degree, and I am only 3 classes away from having my master's degree. It has been a journey rooted in curiosity and a ...